project mayhem

self induced insomnia isn’t chronic. it’s minor lack of sleep.

you can still sleep. but it takes you a long time to do so. In my case anyway,

I’m an over-thinker. I think about every good thing, every bad thing before i try and get to sleep. I think about getting to sleep when i’m trying to do just that. The more i think about it, the more awake i’m becoming. It’s just a shitty little cycle.

I don’t like having early nights. So i stay up, watch shitty TV and weird films i’ve never heard of from 1952.

I will watch sad films so i could atleast try and cry myself to sleep. Not in the depressing way, just in the way that crying will slowly relax me and i’ll doze off. But no, i end up watching yet another nazi cowboy film.

I don’t class this a insomnia as such. But i feel like it could slowly develop into it.

The good thing is, when i am so tired. Say 2-3nights without sleep, i can sleep for 15hours solid. But i feel like crap those few nights before. Please, if you have insomia. Talk to me. I wan’t to know what to worry about.

i don’t fucking understand you.

you tell me i’m grounded. then you moan at me for not getting out the house.

you change when your around scot, you show off like a fucking teenager when your with him. when he’s not there, your a stroppy fucking hormonal peice of fuck.

i can’t do anything right. i clean the whole house, make you tea and you still find some pointless thing to moan about.

If i’m in a good mood, you think i’m stoned. which is usually true but you don’t know that.

If i don’t talk for 5 minutes, you immedietly think the worst.

I tell you i like a guy, or have boy troubles and all you can say is ‘part of being a teenager delphi’

i say i’m ill, and you’ll laugh and say ‘you’ll live’

We’ve never had a day out without arguing. We’ve never had the ‘mother and daughter’ talk that all my friends have had.

Just. Fuck you. I’ll be out of your hair before you can say imacunt.

That’s our life, “we work jobs we hate so we can buy crap that we don’t need.” Another great fight club quote. Why do we need to buy something to feel happy? Because we feel incomplete, or because society told us we need this or that piece of crap. I’m not saying things are crap – but our need to buy things in order to feel good is stupid.

 What advertising does is make you feel like shit just because you don’t have what they’re selling – so you buy it. They just brainwash you. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t buy anything, it just means you should buy things just because they told you so. Buy thing that you really need and love, think before you spend your money on bullshit.

i love fightclub. key to life, death and ressurection right there.

let’s evolve, let the chips fall where they may.